ALMOST

A married man goes to confession and tells the priest, "I had an affair with a woman - almost."

The priest asks, "What do you mean, 'almost'?"

The man answers, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again.

"Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The man leaves the confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box.

He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.

The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The man replied, "Well, Father, I rubbed up against it; you said that was the same as putting it in!"

***********************************

Quote

I never married because there was no need.

I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.

I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night

Marie Corelli...