SEMINARS FOR THE SEXES

SEMINARS FOR FEMALES
(prepared and presented by males)

  1. Elementary Map Reading

  2. Crying and Law Enforcement

  3. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR

  4. You CAN Go Shopping for Less than 4 Hours

  5. Gaining Five Pounds vs. The End of the World: A Study in Contrasts

  6. The Seven-Outfit Week

  7. PMS: It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine
     ("It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty: Deal With It")

  8. Driving I: Getting Past Automatic Transmissions

  9. Driving II: The Meaning of Blinking Orange Lights

10. Driving III: Approximating Constant Speed

11. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving: It's As Simple As Oil and Water

12. Football: Not a Game; A Sacrament

13. Telephone Translations (formerly titled "Me Too Equals I Love You")

14. How to Earn Your Own Money

15. Gift-Giving Fundamentals (formerly titled "Fabric Bad, Electronics Good")

16. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side

17. Beyond "Clean and Dirty:" The Nuances of Wearable Laundry

18. Yes, You Can Fill Up At A Self-Serve Station

19. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels

20. What Goes Around Comes Around: Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy

21. His Best Friend Can Be Yours Too

22. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out

23. Commitment Schmittment (formerly titled "Wedlock Schmedlock")

24. To Honor and Obey: Remembering the Small Print Above "I Do"

25. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House

26. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man?

SEMINARS FOR MALES
(prepared and presented by females)

  1. Combatting Stupidity

  2. You, Too, Can Do Housework

  3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

  5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give Us Jewelry

  6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00 a.m.

  7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash My Silks")

  8. Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception

  9. Get a Life: Learn to Cook

10. How Not to Act Like a Jackass When You're Obviously Wrong

11. Spelling: Even You Can Get It Right

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

13. You: The Weaker Sex

14. Reasons to Give Flowers

15. How to Stay Awake in Public

16. Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the Bathroom

17. Garbage: Getting it to the Curb

18. You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try

19. The Morning Dilemma: If IT is Awake, Take a Shower

20. I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please

21. How to Put the Toilet Seat Down (formerly titled "No, It's Not a Bidet")

22. "The Weekend" and "Sports" are Not Synonyms

23. Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bull

25. The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

26. Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex

27. Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes

28. Mothers-in-Law: They are People Too

29. Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home

30. You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

31. Seeing the True You
     (formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked")

32. Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works

33. Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary

34. Techniques for Calling Home

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Quote

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Justin Illusion...