HIDDEN SIGNS

The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden signs, those tiny giveaway gestures that can tell you so much about a person. Train yourself to recognize these key "signs."

1. Man gets in car without opening door for woman: no foreplay.

2. Can't hail a cab: impotent.

3. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant: prefers virgins.

4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way: is a virgin.

5. Wants to go to a French Restaurant: will swallow.

6. Takes too long deciding what to order: has trouble reaching orgasm.

7. Insists on ordering for you, referring to you as "The lady will have...": thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't.

8. Asks for "the usual": insists on missionary position only.

9. Asks what the specials are: will want you to use handcuffs.

10. Fills up on bread and crackers: premature ejaculator.

11. Drinks decaf.: fakes orgasms (female).

12. Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts: needs you to talk dirty during sex.

13. Credit card is refused: low sperm count.

14. Under-tips waiter: small penis.

15. Uses toothpick: is trying to tell you size isn't everything.

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Quote

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Justin Illusion...