STOP MALE BASHING!

FOR ALL MEN WHO ARE TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE BASHING JOKES!

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be open by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Why do woman have smaller feet than man? So they can stand closer to the sink.

How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than woman? Because a woman won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

If your dog is barking outside the back door and your wife is yelling outside the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.

All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.

Scientists have discovered a food to diminish a woman's sex drive by 90%. It is Wedding Cake.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

Our last fight was my fault: my wife asked me, "What's on the TV?" and I said "Dust."

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then neither God nor Man has rested.

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You might be a redneck if...

...you think testicles are found on an Octopus.

Justin Illusion...