ALABAMA PIGS

A pig farmer in Alabama was trying to get his pigs to breed, with no success.

Every morning, he'd run outside to the barn and perform a pregnancy test on the female pigs.

Everyday, the results were negative.

The farmer was baffled.

One day, he called the local vet and asked for some advice.

The farmer explained that he couldn't get his pigs to mate.

The vet replied, "Try artificial insemination."

"What's that?" the farmer asked.

The veterinarian said, "It just means if you can't get your pigs to mate, you'll have to do it for them."

So the next day the farmer rounded his pigs into the back of his pickup and headed into the woods.

Soon he stopped, and one by one he shagged each of the pigs.

Later that week, the farmer checked the pigs.

None of them were pregnant!

So the farmer took the pigs out again and shagged them really good.

After days of this, with no pregnant pigs, the farmer gave up.

One morning as he went to feed the pigs, he arrived to find that the pigs were all missing!

He ran back inside the house and shouted, "Wife!

The pigs are gone!"

His wife replied, "Honey you're not going to believe this, but all of your pigs are sitting in your pickup, and one of them is honking the horn."

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Quote

A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner:

"Inside of me there are two dogs.

One of the dogs is mean and evil.

The other dog is good.

The mean dog fights the good dog all the time."

When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied,

"The one I feed the most."

Justin Illusion...