GOOD REASONS TO BE A WOMAN

I'm glad I'm a woman.

Yes I am, yes I am.

I don't live on Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam.

I don't brag to my buddies about my erections: "You would if you could."

I won't drive to Hell before asking directions.

I act nice at parties; not like a clown.

I know how to put the damn toilet seat down.
(Who the hell said it should be down??-Justin)

I won't grab your boobies; I won't pinch your butt.

My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut.

I don't go around readjusting my crotch,

or making sure my headboard bears each hard-earned notch.

I don't belch in public; I don't scratch my behind.

I'm a woman, you see - I'm just not that kind!

I'm glad I'm a woman; so glad I could sing,

and thrilled I'm not covered in shag carpeting.

Hair won't grow from my ears, or cover my back.

And when I bend over you can't see my crack.

I'm a woman, alas - and I'm proud, don't you see?

I'm blessed to have two boobs and squat when I pee.

I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball.

I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.

I don't need male bonding; I don't cruise for chicks,

I'll never join the "Hair Club," or think with my dick.

I'm a woman, by chance, and thankful I am!

I'm so glad I'm a woman, not a man, yes, yes, I am!

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Justin Illusion...