SHIT HAPPENS!

A man was working on his motorcycle out on his patio. His wife was inside the house, in the kitchen. As he was revving the engine on his motorcycle it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, who was still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged through the glass patio door. The motorcycle went down, dumping him onto the floor. His wife heard the crash and came running into the dining room, where she found her husband, cut and bleeding, on the floor. The motorcycle was laying next to him and the patio door was, of course, shattered. She ran to the phone and called an ambulance.

The couple lived on a pretty big hill, so the wife ran down several flights of long steps to the street to catch the paramedics and direct them to her injured husband. After the ambulance arrived and took her husband to the hospital, she set about cleaning up the mess. She stood the motorcycle up and pushed it back outside and then, noticing that gas had spilled onto the floor, she wiped it up with papers towels. She threw the towels into the toilet.

The husband was treated and released, and came home. When he got there, he stared at the shattered patio door and his damaged motorcycle, became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and lit a cigarette. When he'd finished his smoke, he tossed it down between his legs into the toilet bowl, on which he was still seated.

You guessed it. KA-BOOM!

The wife, who was back in the kitchen, heard the explosion and her husband's screams. She rushed into the bathroom and found her husband, once again, laying injured on a floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering from burns on his butt, the back of his legs and his groin. She raced to the phone for the second time that day and called the paramedics.

The same ambulance crew arrived, loaded the man up again and started down the hill toward the street and the waiting emergency vehicle. As they were going down the stairs, one of them asked the woman how her husband had burned himself. She told them the story. They got to laughing so hard that one of the paramedics tipped the stretcher sideways and dumped the injured man out onto the concrete. The poor bastard rolled down the steps and broke his ankle.

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